Man's Best Friend

Well, a lot has happened since arriving in Hoi An, so hopefully I can provide some amusement for anyone still reading this! To start, I was pleasantly surprised with the town, and it had a very distinct look to it. Clearly there was a lot of European influence there. As I was not having any clothes tailor made for me, I got to wander around and relax for a couple of days. Got to eat some good food and enjoy the weather...rain. It rained for a good portion of the time I was there, causing some nice flooding the second morning. The banks of the river were now resting against local shops and restaurants, and it was quite amusing seeing people try to ride their bikes and scooters through it. It was not as amusing when a scooter decided to ride past me and go through a puddle. I am convinced this was done purposely.

From Hoi An we drove north, first stopping at China Beach (a favorite spot for U.S. GIs during the war), then Danang, before driving over Hai Van Pass. This is the 'natural' divider between north and south, and the views from the top were great. After a brief lunch stop at an awful restaurant, we made it to our next destination, the city of Hue. It is the old imperial capitol and for dinner than night we went to and 'imperial feast.' I was skeptical to the fact that we were going to get dressed up in old, traditional Vietnamese attire, but it turned out to be a very good time, and the food was quite good.

The next day turned out to be one of the highlights of the trip, even though it began with two 'rival' groups of moto-taxis arguing in front of our hotel lobby for our business. Honestly, if this were anywhere in the Western world, a fight probably would have broken out, but here there was just a lot of one-sided yelling. Rather than risk further problems, we ditched the moto-taxi idea for the moment and walked to the Citadel, which was extremely boring, and after an hour of torture, we met our motos there. For those who have not got for a ride on the back of a more bike in Vietnam, or anywhere in Asia for that matter, it is an experience. Much like all driving here, sides of the road are just a suggestion, horns are plentiful, and stop signs are non-existant. It was great! Over the course of the afternoon we made a number of stops, including a chance to try beetlenut (an addictive food that over times helps turn your teeth black, and as I found out, has a numbing effect on your mouth), a stop at an old battle ground involved in the Tet Offensive of '68 (not too far from Hamburger Hill), at some other historical sights.

Below is the view from the hilltop.

From the start, I was a bit concerned. As we were pairing up with our drivers, I wound up getting a guy who was cross-eyed. I mean, this is not the scenario that you want when your life is in his hands. For the first half hour I held on for dear life as we flew along roads and down back alleys, wizzed through intersections with nothing more than a horn to let others know we were coming. The death grip was in effect. At one point we flew by another bike, whose driver was holding a sickle--point out--and I was convinced I was about to lose an appendage. By the time we had a near collision with a large truck, I was no longer phased. Now ask yourself, would you want to be put in these situations with this guy?!?!:


It is now May 3rd, and I've officially been traveling for 5 months! To celebrate, we took a 10 hour train ride to the town of Ninh Binh, crossing the old DMZ into the old North Vietnam. The train ride was not too bad in inself, as we had a sleeper car and I was able to rest for most of the day. The interesting parts came when I ventured outside. To begin, I took a walk to the food car to get a drink, and of course this was positioned at the extreme opposite end of the train. As I progressed further back, the sleeper cars got more and more crowed, with bunks stacked 3 high on each side, and entire families of 10+ people where traveling in them. Then there was the smell. Oddly, as I got closer to the 'kitchen' it got worse and worse, a mix of durian, rotting fruit and body odor. I was thankful for my 'first class' ticket. On top of this, there were people sleeping all over the floor, especially liking the areas connecting cars. I don't get it. Then there was the bathroom situation. In addition to the floor being covered in a layer of 'water' and dirt, the toilet didn't flush very well, so while you're in there, a bowl full of colored liquid is sloshing back and forth with every movement of the train. I was waiting for it to go all over my feet, luckily it did not. On a positive note, the scenery was nice, as the center of the country is filled with hills and rice paddies.The only amusing thing in Ninh Binh was the bathrooms in our hotel. Apparently when they installed the shower/tub, they were pressed for time and didn't actually seal the tub to the wall. The bathroom flooded immediately. In the downstairs lobby, I used the urinal and the drain went right onto the floor. I was not pleased and their piping system is not well planned.

From there we went to a national park, where I got to go to an endangered primate center (clearly I enjoyed), do some hiking in the jungle and for a day get away from horns. Where we stayed was pretty isolated, and there were no phones, interenet or electricity (other than 4 hours in the evening). However, I was told there was a pool, and there was. In fact, it was olympic sized, located outside about 100 meters from our rooms. I considered it briefly, but then thought better of it when I saw a man fishing in it. As far as I'm concerned, this instantly removes any 'pool' title. On a side note, he caught a bunch of fish that they fried for dinner.
We then moved on to Halong Bay, which is really stunning. Probably the most scenic place I've been to in Vietnam and a must see if you are in the country. As you approach from land, and even better by boat, you can see the rocks protruding from the water, and there are hundreds of them. We took an overnight cruise into the bay and fortunately had great weather. The rooms below were great too, and the view from bed and bathroom were amazing. For anyone from RH reading this, the bathroom reminded me being in the Lancer or Saxon bunks. That night we were sucked into a marathon session of kareoke, and after doing my best to get out if it, was forced into singing Born In The U.S.A. Now, I, and many of you, know how bad my voice is, but I had no problem providing some amusement for my tour mates. However, I don't think anyone had actually listened to the words of this song before choosing it. Fortunately, I had so when it came time to say lines like "kill the yellow man" I just remained silent. I didn't think having my voice screaming about killing Vietnamese echo throughout Halong Bay at 10pm was a wise move. On a side note, I scored a 100, top score on the evening. Clearly the rating system is flawed and not based on hitting any notes.While I could have stayed on the ship for another day, we left the next morning en route to Hanoi. Along the way we made a few quick stops, and got to see some sights along the way. For me, seeing a motor bike with a water buffalo strapped to the back was the highlight and I can add this to ducks and pigs already seen. That evening in Hanoi we took a cyclo ride through the Old Quarter on our way to a water puppet show. Supposedly its a must see, I disagree. The ride there was amusing, as I was once again asked if I wanted 'boom boom' by the driver. If you don't know what that is, use your imagination based on this area of the world. I laughed, politely declined, and then asked how much. "Very cheap!" was the response. He proceeded to give me rates, which I'm sure I could have negotiated lower, but I won't get into the details here! Along the ride I also saw an explosion at a hair salon and a kid with a machete riding along the street.

Now for what was one of the highlights of the trip and by far the most authentic experience I've had in the country yet. Brace yourself, it could make some of you sick, so I'm warning you now to scroll down slowly! For dinner, my guide took 4 of us to a local restaurant to try a certain type of food that you don't find in much of the world. This place is one of the restaurants that you'd walk quickly past if you weren't with a local, so it was far from special. We ordered two plates, one steamed and one grilled, though at the time I wasn't sure that we'd finish either. Now,when I threaten Zoe, or any other dog I may own, that I'll eat them, I can honestly say I know what they taste like! You may have to click on the video once to load, then hit play, but have a look:

Mmmmmm!

In continuing to gross you all out, here are a few scenes from the restaurant display case and the street near my Hanoi hotel (there were two, but Fido's friend didn't make it!).


With the excitement of last night done with, I got back to the regular tourist attractions and visited the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum. Now, this place was an experience. The initial security to get in was tighter than I've seen in most airports, and once in, you are immediately ordered-literally-by military personell to form 2 lines. There were armed guards everywhere and if you fell out of line, you were promptly re-shown your place by the guys with bayonettes. Also, there was no talking, no hats, no crossing of arms, etc. as you proceeded into the chamber. It was like walking past 2 dozen Soup Nazis. Oddly enough, after taking 20 minutes to get to the viewing area, it only took 20 seconds to walk quietly and orderly through the chamber to view Uncle Ho's body.That afternoon I passed a cock fight in a street-side park on my way to the infamous Hoa Lo prison, also known as the 'Hanoi Hilton' by US POWs during the war. Got to see where John McCain was held for a number of years, and they still have his flight suit on display. I'll have to do some more reading on this, but the propoganda presented there was comical.

Which brings me to yesterday, when I left one hotel to check into my new one. It was pouring rain and looking out the taxi window, barely able to see anything, it was clear that many streets in the city were completely flooded. Often, it looks as though at least 6-8 inches of water covered complete roads and intersections. I'm sure all the food at the street markets were well protected, as they often sit right on the ground! Having a few days to myself here in Hanoi, I opted to do nothing yesterday and stayed in bed for 3 hours watching the Rays vs. Yankees game--it was the only decent thing on--and I was pleased to see Mariano have two bombs hit off him and take the loss! Go Sox! Last night I managed to get clipped by a motor bike and have come to the conclusion that by simply walking around the streets, I have surely stepped on every disease this country has to offer.

I'm here for another 2 days before heading west to Laos. From what I hear, it is a great place. Similar in popularity and rusticness to Cambodia, but much more laid back. Hopefully its a smooth border crossing!

Cheers!