Waitress, I Need Two More Boat Drinks!

Since posting last, I have managed to travel some pretty decent miles, starting with a trip to a little town called Pai. From what I was told by those who had visited previously, this is a pretty laid back place with a real hippie, backpacker feel. They were correct and it was a great 4 days up there. Located only a short drive from the Burma border, it is pretty isolated from the closest city of Chiang Mai and the 3 hour bus ride to get there (and to get back from) were the most nerve-racking events of my time there. To say that the road is curvy and hilly is an understatement, and this, coupled with a complete lack of driving rules in this country, made this trip a bit stressful. Constant turns as we climbed one mountain after another shifted everyone in the van from left to right to left over and over again for 2 full hours. Of course, our driver had a schedule to keep, so speed (excessive) was in full effect and passing bikes on hairpin turns became common place. The best was when I looked up and noticed that, not only were we completely on the wrong side of the road (and by this I mean we were riding the edge of the road in the opposite lane) but we were passing a car that was passing another car! That's right, three cars driving on a two-lane road. Road rules are purely optional here.

Our time in Pai was great, and it is really an oasis in the middle of a chaotic country. There were a ton of great restaurants and bars, and the atmosphere was a much needed break from any city. The highlight of the stay was our experience with elephants. We took an elephant ride that was to last 1 hour. Now, I was looking forward to this, but after 5 minutes I was in real pain. If anyone has ever rode an elephant bareback, you know that sitting on the spine is anything but comfortable and with each shift of its weight, I hurt more and more. Shifting constantly, I did not know if I'd make the full hour (and my chances of having kids decreased by the step). Well, all things changed when we got to the river and our elephant unexpectedly (though purposely) tossed both Alana and I in the water. This happened repeatedly over the next 20 minutes, and was a blast. I will say that when a 8,000 pound animal leans over and forces you off, you get a little concerned that they may just roll all the way over and crush you. Ours didn't, but the thought crossed my mind a few times. Truly a great time and a real experience standing in the river and looking eye to eye with that creature. I have video footage and photos, but I left the CD in my room, so sorry! (this one is from Chiang Rai)

We took the van back to Chiang Mai, this time 2 people threw up on the way...seriously, that drive sucks. Well, we're sitting at our hotel on March 11th, checking our email and confirming the time of our flight the next day when Alana says to me, and I quote: "Why does our ticket say the 10th?" As I was not the one who booked this flight, can you see why I was concerned? Sure enough, our flight to Phuket was a day earlier and we had completely missed it. The funny thing was that immediately before this, I was informed by Alana that she should be in charge of all future flight arrangement because my recently booked flight had too much tax on it. I don't think so! To make matters worse, it is impossible to reach anyone at the airline after 5 pm. Well, to make a long story short, we were able to get on the flight we thought we were on to begin with and got to Phuket without further problems. And, it only cost us roughly US$15 to do so. Below, I'm preparing for the flight!

We land in Phuket and my eyes are immediately drawn to a Dunkin Donuts sign. I was very pleased! Besides the presence of my favorite coffee shop, Phuket is very built up. Every junky tourist store you can imagine is located in each of the island's towns twenty times over and really turned me off to the area. However, it was good to know that if I really wanted that Heineken tank top but failed to stop at the first store, I had plenty of opportunity to pick it up still! Aside from the cheesyness of the whole scene, Patong is insane. This is the party capitol of the island and it is packed with bar after bar, literally they could not cram much more into such a small area. If you're looking to pick up a lovely Thai for the evening, or just for an hour or so, this would be the place to go. Along the same lines, if you're interested in the famed lady-boys, some of which are very convincing, this is also the stretch of road to visit. I found this a great place to people watch, as it is beyond anything I've seen in Vegas.

While in Phuket, we definitely enjyed the beach and took some cruises around the local islands and beaches. While on the beaches, I have found that it is quite common for women to go topless and I won't complain. Unfortunately, it is equally as common for old, fat European men to wear speedos. I won't go so far as to say that it is worth the trade off, but I'm dealing with it. I will say it now that the beaches and scenery that I've seen in photos is not a joke. The water is turquois, clear and warm, and the surrounding mountains and cliffs are really impressive. (Below: Elephant on Kata Beach, Phuket; Me at Monkey Beach; Alana and I at Monkey Beach)

After Phuket, we spent a couple of days near Railay, which is known around the world for its rock climbing. I let Alana enjoy and took a boat out to Poda Island. Now, they advertise that you can see monkeys here, but I was supposed to see them at Monkey Island too, so I wasn't holding my breath. I spent 3 hours on the island and the beach was awsome and not too crowded. Here are some of the things I saw:

I am now on Koh Tao, a relatively small island in the Gulf of Thailand. The island is great; very relaxed and reminds both of us of Pai with a beach. We've done some sea kayaking, exploring and a lot of lounging around! We were able to celebrate St. Patty's day in proper fasion and today we got a little adventurous, taking a hike across the island to do some snorkeling (looked for sharks but didn't have any luck--really) and some cliff jumping! While there are many great parts to this island, I'd have to say that staying beach front for less than US$60 bucks is right at the top! (tough to see me in the middle picture, but I'm jumping!)

A little observation from my time here in Thailand: there is little to no regulation. I thought the U.S. went overboard in a lot of areas and still do, but I'd have to say that for the most part it is good. Clearly, there are no real driving laws, and it is truly a miracle that more people aren't killed every year. Also, I have been on numerous piers, roads and walkways that could collapse at anytime. Below is a road on Koh Tao that has been partially patched with sandbags, further below is a light post with wires in a main business area. I can't stage this stuff.

Tomorrow we're off to Koh Pha-Ngan before heading to Koh Samui. While the islands will likely get progressively more built up, I'm sure we'll enjoy it. On a side note, my U.S. cell phone is once again working, so feel free to send me some love!

Cheers!