One Night In Bangkok

Sa-wat-dee! For those of you who don't speak Thai, that means hello. It also means that I've arrived safely in Thailand, and over the past 9 days, the country has definitely shown me some interesting things, so bare with me. My journey here began on the airplane, Thai Airlines, where the 8 1/2 hr flight was quite smooth until they served breakfast. Now most airlines would serve eggs, toast, yogurt, etc. but on this flight they served a noodle dish with a curry sauce. This was great, because I'm not the biggest fan of breakfast foods and I like spicy dishes. Well, I decided to have one of the small pieces of pepper that was on the noodles, which in hind sight was a poor decision, but after all, it was airplane food and it was for breakfast. It was hot and my mouth proceeded to be on fire for the next 5 minutes. I thought this was a great start to the day, but had no idea how hectic it would get.

Landing in Bangkok at just before 6 am, I cleared customs without a problem and was off to the hotel. The cab driver kept yapping away while I smiled and nodded, not understanding a word of his broken English. Checked into the room and was quite amused by the bathroom. I've seen some funky showers before while traveling in Europe, but this shower head was literally directed onto the toilet due to lack of space. Honestly, I couldn't even find the shower at first because it was hidden behind the door. When I took a shower, the entire bathroom flooded (a trend that has continued).

Venturing into Bangkok is like entering another world. I'll say it now, I don't like that city...at all. It is loud, it smells, it is in complete disrepair, it is in a permenant traffic jam, and is extremely polluted. To say my experience was chaotic would be an understatement. During my first morning out I was nearly hit by a half-dozen scooters while on what little sidewalk exists and quickly learned that when the little green 'walk' guy dissappears, you better be out of the road or risk being roadkill. My first experiment with street food was unsuccessful, as whatever meat I ate was awful, but this has since improved. I think the highlight of that first day was withdrawing $10,000 Baht from the ATM--I felt loaded until I remembered that its only about $280.

Things got more interesting once Alana arrived. I met her at the airport at around 1 am, and once she walked right passed not recognizing me, we went to get a cab. A woman proceeded to try to get us into an unmarked volvo with tinted windows. Now let me ask you, if its 1 am in Bangkok, would you get in? If you answered 'No' then you chose the same thing we did. No chance in you-know-what that was going to happen. We got back to the hotel, after our more-legitimate cabby stopped on the side of the highway for 5 minutes to inspect something on the car. The next morning, Alana found out how true my statements about the city were when we went out to get a train ticket. We decided to take a tuk-tuk, which I don't recommend to anyone while in Bangkok. We said we needed to go to the train station, which translates into 'I want to go meet your buddy at a make-shift tourist shop so he can sell me garbage and over charge me.' Well, this proved unsuccessful and after taking us to a place where we could actually get what we needed, we told him to take us to the Grand Palace, which translates into 'Take us to your buddy's clothing store so I can get a custom made suite for 20,000 Baht.' My Thai is bad, but I know I didn't say that! After refusing a half-dozen times, he kicked us out of the tuk-tuk! It was hysterical, and best part was we wasted an hour of his time and didn't pay him.

That afternoon we did get to see some sights, including the Grand Palace, Emerald Buddha and Reclining Buddha. However, in walking around these areas, we were told by 4 or 5 people that they were all closed until 2pm and that we should go to see 'X' now (aka, they'll take me there for only a small fee and his friend can try to sell me more crap.) All locations were open all day. I saw Bangkok, and other than a one night stay at the end of the month, I don't plan on returning.

This next photo is Bangkok from the air. Gives you an idea of the air quality.

We flew to Chaing Mai and from the moment we landed it was like a breath of fresh air (literally and figuratively). A taxi to the hotel was simple, fees did not have to be haggled for and there was to scheme going on to take my money. I liked this town from the start and it is a feeling that lasted throughout my 4 day stay. We took trips to 2 National Parks (Doi Suthep and Doi Inthanon), got to see some really nice temples (Wat), local villages, waterfalls and jungles. Very cool places, but very different from any National Park in the U.S. One story which I must repeat took place in a Hmong village. Our tour guide asked me why my arms were so hairy, which I found kind of odd, but most Thais don't have much body hair to speak of. I laughed and jokingly said "You should see the rest of me!" (and for anyone who knows me, you have an idea where this is going). Well, she looked at me in all seriousness and ask politely if I'd mind, motioning for me to lift up me shirt. With a big smile, I did and the best way to describe her reaction was shock! And to make it better, her friend had me repeat this and I drew the same face! In a foreign land, I became my own tourist attraction!

The next day I took a trip to a place that I was really looking forward to seeing: The Chaing Mai Women's Prison. That's right, the local prison. What for you may ask? A massage! That's right, I got a massage from an inmate! My criminal must have been in for some sort of physical abuse because she beat the crap out of me for 90 minutes...and I loved every second of it! It was the third massage I had gotten in the city and by far the best. On a side note, I saw a shirt in one of the stores here that read "I believe in happy endings" I think this would be funny anywhere, but seeing it in Thailand made it that much more amusing. Although, that could just be my mind in the gutter!

Now at this time I had been in the country for nearly a week and my Thai was coming along at an excruciatingly slow pace. I still had trouple getting 'hello' and 'thank you' down, but the phrase I did know was 'iced coffee.' And, it just so happens, that there is a Dunkin' Donuts in Chaing Mai! (there were two in Bangkok as well!) Unreal that they can get one in the middle of northern Thailand's jungle and they can't get one in Denver. I'm just saying.

Yesterday we took a bus to Chaing Rai, about 190 Km to the northeast and not far from the Golden Triangle (where Thailand, Laos, and Myanmar/Burma meet). The ride was easy and uneventful until we encountered a routine stop. Our bus was boarded by a police officer and identification was requested. No problem for me, but that wasn't the case for the two guys in the seats in front of us. Apparently they weren't supposed to be on there, or maybe didn't have enough money to bribe the officer, but he called for back-up, another officer boarded the bus and escorted them (initially lifting one out of his seat) off the bus. Let me tell you, if there is one place that you don't want to piss off any type of border or customs agents, Southeast Asia is probably it. I would love to post a picture here, but I didn't feel that it was the best photo opp!

Chaing Rai is much smaller and quieter than the previous two cities, and today we rented a scooter to get out of the city for a bit. Saw some awesome scenery and drove through some neat little villages. Crossing the street in front of us throughout the day were dogs, cattle and elephant--yes, that is correct. Tomorrow we're off to do some trekking in the hills and see some more sights before moving westward toward the town of Pai.

Chai Yoh!